Picture this, its your first internship, by the end of it you're all maxed out and as exhausted as your little body can be. As soon as it's all over you can't help but feel a tiny bit sad. Okay, maybe a lot sad. I'm probably overreacting considering said internship was 2 months ago... I should probably explain what I'm talking about since I have been AWOL for the past 10 years. In November I got the amazing opportunity to intern with shoe designer, Sophia Webster, it was such an amazing opportunity and I was there for 2 months (Bt dubs, it wasn't at all like those horrendous intern stories that you read about in all those cutthroat tell-all books, it was all very nice & civilised.) It was truly a great experience, one day I was at the Net-a-porter office dropping off samples (not to mention almost in tears at the sheer amazingness of it, if Jesus lived in a palace, that is exactly how I'd imagine it to look) then at Preen and another day I'm partying with Nicholas Kirkwood (I totally didn't, I just stood behind him considering I was way too nerscited - an unbalanced mix between nervous and excited - to say anything to him.) When it all ended, I was happy about the experience and was excited about the next place I would hopefully intern. Thats when it all started, I started seeing Sophia Webster shoes EVERYWHERE, in magazines, instagram, my favourite show 'The Carrie Diaries' and every time I did, I would squeal with excitement obviously because I'd been BTS and probably because I remembered the names of most of the shoes I'd spotted (a skill I got better & better at during my time there.) The first actual come down however came yesterday (bare in mind I've sewn her stuff A LOT over the past 2 months, I'm just surprised it hadn't happened sooner) when I saw a fellow intern post pictures on Instagram of her at the SW presentation at LFW, that's when I felt the first smatterings of sadness. Then I saw another shoe today in Grazia, and If I could see myself in a mirror, I'd probably say I had the biggest happy/sad smile ever. What I'm trying to say is I think I'm suffering from a Fear of Missing Out (FOMO - it's a thing) I'm excited to see people doing exciting things, just not without ME. Call me crazy? Even with my last job, when I left, I felt a pang of something not sure exactly what everytime I saw a new campaign in a magazine. I'm convinced this is going to happen to me everytime I leave someplace that is fun and amazing. Am I gonna burst into tears when I see a campaign for a brand I've worked at? (I sincerely hope not as I'm trying to shed my image as a serial cry baby.) I'm sure it happens to the best of us, you can't help but be attached to a place that you worked so hard to get to. The only way to get over it I guess is to think about all the amazing opportunities that are yet to come. I just hope at my next internship I don't leave a trail of tissues... Heres hoping.
A sneaky picture I managed to take at Net-a-porter HQ for the doubters, but mainly so I can look at and cry at night.